New Chapters

Since life isn't stagnant, things are always changing. I had a tough time deciding if I was going to blog about this, because let's face it, finances are in that category with religion and politics. You just don't talk about them. The past couple of months we have been trying to get serious about our budget. 

At the beginning of January, Claire started Pre-School. I felt like I left a little piece of my heart there when I drove off. Both of my girls were there two days a week. What was I going to do with my time? Sure, I had some projects that needed my attention, but that took care of the first few weeks.. but then what? After we wrote that astronomical check for that first month, I came home and cried. Why was I sending my babies to Pre-School? I don't work outside of the home. Sure, I need a break. But was that break worth having someone else teach my children so I could read a book or blog? 

THEN, we got snowed in for a week. And I actually enjoyed spending time with them. Sure I got a little stir crazy not being able to leave the house and my eyes may have crossed a time or two at all of the questions that Addison asks.. which most of my answers now follow with a "Why?" but I know she is just curious and I'm trying everyday to make me have a little more patience with her. 

It was then that I decided that there was no need to fork out $400 a month for PreSchool when they were fine at home and I honestly didn't think Claire was ready. Addison was also starting to say things like, "But I don't want to go to school today! I want to stay at home with you and Claire!" 

At one point, it was necessary for her to go to PreSchool-- I was working and it  was getting harder to constantly ask grandparents to watch them. They do have their own lives after all, and it doesn't include being my full time nanny. 

But the fact of the matter is, we have 3 Grandmothers that are at home and that would love to get to watch both girls for a few hours every week, if I need a break. 

So I called John, and said "I think we should pull the girls out of preschool." I felt like a horrible parent. Why can't I just give something up so my children don't have to suffer?  Wasn't there somewhere else to make up the $400? Nope. it's $400 and not $50. That's a lot of money out of your monthly budget. 

After I told Addison she would be staying at home with me, she jumped up and down exclaiming, "YAY! YAY! YAY!" And I knew right then, that my little girl needed to be at home with me. She needs her mommy, even if she is too much like me in the stubborn department to ask for some snuggle time. 

This is their first week at home. And it's been amazing. The girls are playing well together. We are finally getting good use out of that expensive gym membership, since Claire will go to the nursery with Addison there. Without her, it was out of the question. 

So, you should expect more pictures of this:

and this: 

and this:

 maybe not this, though: 

Anyway.. we are kind of being Dave Ramsey about it, even though John hates Dave Ramsey, but I guess it could have a twist of J.Money- Budgets Are Sexy- I mean, who doesn't want financial advice from a guy with a mohawk who is super rad and has awesome dance moves?

Baby, It's COLD Outside!!

So.. I am starting to think that starting half training during the holidays was stupid. A) I am running around doing other stuff and forget to run. B) It's freaking COLD outside. 20's!!! Seriously?? I don't own enough layers to be out running in that. As for that fleece lined running jacket I saw at the Nike outlet and I laughed at... I am really wishing I have that thing right about now.

I also keep trying to figure out the best times to go running. Since John gets off at 4:00, I am trying to wait until then to go, but I am so tired by that time, I don't feel like going. We all know I'm not a morning person either, but maybe I could wake up at 5:30 and go? But then, it's even colder!! I am trying to train outside, but I may have to take it indoors for a few weeks. I hate to ask people to watch the girls so I can go run. I feel like I neglect them when I go for a run. Claire starts Little Lambs two days a week in January, so I know I could do it then, but that's still several weeks away. I want to train properly and it's already getting off on the wrong foot.

I am getting in a running funk of, "Why do I do this to myself? It's so cold! It would be so much easier to sit and cuddle with the girls and drink hot chocolate. Who wants to run 13 miles anyway??" I need to snap out of it!! I've still got 11 weeks of training!

I am running a race this weekend that is sure to be the coldest run yet... The high is 43 and the low is 21. Fun times.

How do you snap out of the funks and get on with training? I need advice people!!! How do you talk yourself into those runs when you aren't feeling it?

I DID IT!!!

That's right, biatches! I ran my first race! It was awesome! I know you want the story, so here goes.

Saturday morning, we woke up at 5:00 because we had to get the girls to MeMac and then get to Huntsville, which is about an hour away and of course, John wanted to stop at Panera Bread. Can I just say, it was about 40 degrees and slightly raining. Fun times! My dad is the ONLY person to call and wish me good luck! Thanks, Dad! I will give MeMac credit too, since she was still giving me some tips this morning and she did call during the race to see if I was finished and she did keep the girls so I could do this. Thanks, MeMac!

Any first time runners? ME!

(Can I just say how old I look? Botox is definitely in my future!)

As I was standing out in the cold, waiting on the race to start, I could just think, I am really about to do this!! The guy tells us they had to re-route the race so it's a little bit longer than a 5K. What would you think it meant? A couple hundred yards? How about a whole MILE longer? Thanks for the warning, dude! It bottle necked pretty bad around the construction area, but it wasn't too bad. Most of the course went through Historic Huntsville and there were people outside their houses clapping and cheering us on. It was so awesome! I did walk some, and as Ermitrude( my Nike + girlie) told me I only had 200 meters left, I was still in great shape and running and feeling good. I realized when she said that I should be finished with my race and we weren't back in downtown, that I had no idea how much longer this race was going to be. I had e-mailed a girl from high school that runs all the time( she just finished her qualifying time for the Boston Marathon!) and told her I was running and she came back after she finished and found me and ran and pushed me through that last mile. It was so awesome. I thought I was going to pass out once I saw the finish line and actually uttered the words, "I can't do it anymore!" Linda said, "Listen to that negative attitude! You can see the finish line!!" and some of the people around me started telling me that I could do it, and I did!! I ran across that dang finish line and it was awesome and I hot and sweaty and wet from the rain.

( I'm struggling!)

YAY!! I did it! This is me crossing the finish line!

Tired and hot!

All in all, it was awesome and I can't wait to get out there and do it again! I officially finished in 35:13. Which, I say, isn't that bad! So, thanks for all of the encouragement and well wishes from everyone. I truly appreciate it!

It's official. I'm running.

Well, I did it. I signed up for my very first race. It's official. It's Saturday morning. And I am not ready. I cannot run 3 miles straight. I am extremely nervous. Are the other runners going to laugh at me because I will have to stop and walk? How do I sign in? What DO I DO??? I have no idea how any of this works, all I know is that I want to cross the finish line.

I bought these new head band elastic things to keep my hair out of my face and all it does is get on my nerves. So, I'm not sure what I am going to do about that. And what do I wear??? I mean, obviously, running gear, but do I do a long sleeve shirt or short sleeve since that is what I am comfortable in? But what if it's too cold?

Maybe I am too OCD about this. BUT, I WILL CROSS THE FINISH LINE. I am just hoping that pure adrenaline can get me there. I'm not completely out of shape, mind you, but I am most comfortable running at a 9:00 min pace, but my lungs just can hang with that. *sigh*

I definitely am needing some encouragement.

My mom is against my running. She has arthritis and has made it very clear that she thinks I am stupid for doing this because I am ruining my joints.

but... I WANT TO!! So, I will.

I found this on someones profile and now I can't remember where it was, but it gave me some encouragement this morning: " Let us run with endurance, the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1.

How awesome is that?

Anyway... wish me luck!

Turning Over A New Leaf

Everyone once in a while, I will get in a funk.

A funk of, "I'm a momma now, so no need to be cute." And.. frankly. I hate that I do it. There is no reason for me to dress all "maw maw" just because I have two children. I am 25 years old. I do not have one foot in the grave. The first step, was the new hair. I feel younger and good about myself. The second step, was some skinny jeans. The thirds step, was some super awesome boots. So, I feel cute again. I feel like a cute 25 year old, who happens to have two children. After all, how am I to teach them all about fashion, if I am not fashionable myself? I mean, I already have a love relationship with make-up and there is no sense that I can't get my relationship with fashion back. So, I am welcoming my fashion sense back with open arms.

*I have missed you!!*

On a completely different note, I have decided to cut the crap and sign up for my first 5K. I am sick of not completing this goal. I said I was going to do it after I had Addison. That was 3 years ago! So, it is December 12th. My best friend Jana is suppose to be running with me, so, it should be good times. Even if all we get is a free shirt and some good times together.

I have also decided that since I am running this 5K, there is no reason I can't start training for a half-marathon in February. So, I will definitely need some encouragement there. Because, let's face it, I just started running 4 months ago, and I haven't been all that devoted. But, I am sick of not accomplishing these things that I want to do. It's now or never. Maybe I started running and push myself to run for the wrong reasons( hello? Awesome legs? Yes, please!) My goal is to lose at least 10 lbs. I would love to lose 20 lbs, but I'm just not sure if it's in the cards, so I am not going to push it. But I think 10 lbs is totally doable.

Wish me the best of luck!

Friendships

Have you ever had a friend that you had to stop being friends with? I have. She was my best friend in high school. I always felt right at home with her family and they took me in like I was one of their own. Her mom was the first mom that I knew of that cooked dinner every night and they sat down together every night. We had a falling out during our Senior year of high school because, well, frankly, she turned a little sketchy. She quit answering my phone calls or calling me, just out of the blue. We continued to hang out during school and during group outings, but as for a one on one friendship, it wasn't happening. So, finally, I started to feel like I pushing my friendship on her and I stopped. I think she was mad about it, but I didn't care. I was through being friends with someone who, I felt like, didn't want to be friends with me. So, I went off the the University of Alabama and she went off to Auburn( see? this is probably why this friendship was doomed). She turned sketchy on my other best friend who was her roommate. She eventually moved out of the dorm.
I stayed friends with her sister. Once we came back home, her sister informed me that she wanted to be hang out. She didn't have any friends at home anymore( probably because she alienated them). So, I gave it a try. We never talked about what went down between us, but we were friends again. John never liked the friendship from the start. I think he thought she was too sketchy( which she was).
I love my friendship with her though. We laughed and always had a good time together.It wasn't the same friendship like in high school. In high school, we had numerous secrets and inside jokes and spoke in code. She was still a little distant in our new friendship, but it was fine with me, because I had a boyfriend, who I spent most of my time with anyway.
She was a bridesmaid in my wedding. But during that time, she started the old ways again. She never showed up to any wedding showers or parties that she didn't help throw and I had to get messages to and from her sister. She did come see me in the hospital when I had Addison( which, I didn't even know that she knew that I had her). I threw her a shower when she got married. I went to see her baby after she had her. But, I was once again, forcing my friendship on her. I knew she needed a mommy friend and I thought it was me. I let her borrow some maternity clothes ( which I never saw again). I tried and tried and tried to be a good friend to her. But I was the only one trying.
We ended up severing all ties this past fall. We shared some(I thought) playful words over the Iron Bowl. She turned ugly with it and I thought, "I'm done". I didn't need that kind of negativity in my life. I have enough drama already.
I'm still friends with her through Facebook and I drive by her parents house every day on my way to work and I always wonder what's going on in that house. Sometimes her car is there, but mostly not. I wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't look in that driveway. I do "Facebook stalk" her and she is pregnant with her second child.

John never understood why I waited so long to quit trying to be her friend. It was really hard for me to just stop caring about someone who was a big part of my life growing up. Essentially, it's divorcing a friend. Who wants to do that? Maybe Philly was right all along. Maybe our friendship never would have worked for one reason only. Maybe she was sketchy was because of that same reason.
That reason you might ask? Because she was an Auburn fan.