In-SeKURity

I tend to be an insecure person at times. It really just comes in phases. And I am here to tell you.. I am in an insecure funk. 

I have one photo session lined up and that's it. I have tons of projects I want to do and no dollar dollar bills, y'all to pay for them. So, I blog... and no comments. I KNOW my self-worth isn't tied to how many blog comments are out there, but DANG they sure do make you feel better. 

I don't feel like working out. I don't feel like eating right. I just want to be lazy. 

I want to write about stuff that I love and that people want to read about. I feel like this blog needs to take a new direction. The joy of blogging has been sucked away from a crazy person and I am not comfortable putting all my stuff out on the internet for certain people to read. 

Please tell me.. what do you want to read about? Running? Crafts? Fashion? The girls? 

What do you do to get out of a funk?

Sorry for the word vomit of insecurities today... 

Farewell 2009

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the past decade. 10 years ago, I was a 15 year old girl. I had no idea who I was. I had no idea if I even wanted children or not and I definitely had no idea who I wanted to be when I grow up. When I started college, I still had no idea who I wanted to be and would often ask my mom," Can't you just TELL me what I am supposed to do with my life?!!?" I met John and the crazy thing is, he knows exactly what I need. He had no idea what I should be when I grow up or what kind of person I should/would be, but he has always known what is best for me.
I've been thinking a lot about the person I was then and person I am turning into be. I like the new me a LOT better. She isn't as loud(although, still sort of loud and highly opinionated), is a fierce friend, has found the passion for photography that grows everyday, loves her children more than anything, has a husband who is her rock, has a newfound relationship with her dad that she treasures, her sister is one of her best friends, has married into one of the most fabulous families ever, she isn't near as crazy as 15 year old me, is re-discovering her love for fashion, and is developing a love for running( who would've thought!).
I'm not sure 15 year old me would recognize me now, but who cares? She was slightly crazy anyway.
2009 was a year of discovery for me. Discovering how crazy life is with two small children. How sleep deprived one can actually be. How it's okay to need an anti-depressant everyday to not be a crazy person. How awesome I feel behind a camera. How right it feels for it to just be me, my iPod and a pair of running shoes.
I'll miss you 2009, but I have GREAT things planned for 2010.