In-SeKURity

I tend to be an insecure person at times. It really just comes in phases. And I am here to tell you.. I am in an insecure funk. 

I have one photo session lined up and that's it. I have tons of projects I want to do and no dollar dollar bills, y'all to pay for them. So, I blog... and no comments. I KNOW my self-worth isn't tied to how many blog comments are out there, but DANG they sure do make you feel better. 

I don't feel like working out. I don't feel like eating right. I just want to be lazy. 

I want to write about stuff that I love and that people want to read about. I feel like this blog needs to take a new direction. The joy of blogging has been sucked away from a crazy person and I am not comfortable putting all my stuff out on the internet for certain people to read. 

Please tell me.. what do you want to read about? Running? Crafts? Fashion? The girls? 

What do you do to get out of a funk?

Sorry for the word vomit of insecurities today... 

Lady Biz Saga Continued...

When we last left off, I was burned by the receptionist at my lady biz doctor and was made an appt for Tuesday. So, on the big day, I arrived with a couple of minutes to spare, and sat down to wait. A few minutes passed and they called me back to pay my co-pay. So, I went back there. The woman asked my name and appointment time and I told her and she couldn't find me on the list. *red flag* So, she just wrote me down and took my $20. I asked her if I came at the wrong time-- I am super paranoid about going to the doctor at the wrong time. She told me no that it hadn't printed off for whatever reason. So I head back to the waiting room. About 15 minutes later, the receptionist called me up there and asked why I was coming in today. I tried to keep my cool, but I am pretty sure my eyes were shooting daggers at that woman while I told my brief story of the crappy receptionist. It was probably her anyway.

So, I head back to my seat with the assumption they were working me in. Once I was the only person left, I was called back. I kinda sorta unloaded on the nurse, but tried to not take it out on her, afterall, it wasn't her fault. But she told me she was told I called and cancelled my appointment. UMMM WHAT?!!?!?! No, that didn't happen, at all.

They ended up doing my yearly exam... gotta love a little cervical scrapeage.  Dr. F told me that she thought that my problem was an egg popping out of my ovary. Not sure if I believe that or not, since I have NEVER had that happen before. But, a ultrasound wouldn't have done any good since the fluid is gone now. But, she didn't feel any cysts or anything on my ovaries, so I opted to not have an ultrasound.

I am still pretty jacked about the front office issues. Not sure what to do. It's not my doctors or her nurses fault and I was assured by Dr F that I would be seen the day I was in pain if it happens again. She also encouraged me not to skip out my b.c. anymore unless I wanted #3.

So I ask you, virtual friends, what would you do in this situation? Change doctors? I would have to go an hour out of town to see someone in a different group. Change doctors within the group? Write a letter to the office manager? Let it go completely?

A Case of the Mondays... on Thursday

Do you ever feel super tired? Too tired to even sit on the couch and watch The Rachel Zoe Project? Yeah... I've been THAT tired today. John left this morning for San Antonio.. at 5 am. There was a leak in the girls tub, and Claire woke up with a runny nose. I messed a clients order up. All before 9 am. I was already over this day at 9 am. I did wash some clothes.. I have yet to fold them.

Have I told you how much I am loving my new job? I really am, but on my days off... it's kicking my butt and I am super scared that the photography business is going to suffer. I have already decided that I must get a housekeeper just to take one thing from the to do list. I can handle the laundry. I can handle some cooking. I can handle the photography business. I can handle the house cleaning. I can handle all of those things separately, just not all together. Since, I'm not going to give my kids away, I guess I can hire someone to clean my house.

Also? I'm really over this house. It needs to sell. I need my own area. BAD. The girls need a play room. BAD. It's just getting a little ridiculous. I also wish I lived somewhere different just for the sole fact of running. I want to be able to run out my front door, not drive 15 minutes to run somewhere.

AND. I really want someone to run Disney Princess Half with me. No one can commit at this point, and I know I want to do it, but I really want to do it with a friend. Because, it's a super fun race and you need a buddy.

Another thing? I'm really tired of these funks I get in with not taking pictures of my children everyday.. and somedays I do, and I totally plan to blog about them, but then I forget about them or they don't get edited right away.

I really need to get over myself.

Okay, enough of my pity party for now...